i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
