What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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