How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
