i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize