dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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