Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
