i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
