Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
