help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
