I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
