I molested 6 butterflies tonight
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
