I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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