She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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