matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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