Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
