It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
