It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
