Your tits are I can't wait for
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
