hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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