Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
