Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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