We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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