alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
