Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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