She is in my trunk
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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