Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
