i jhust puked up my retainher.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
