Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
love makes seman taste better
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
