dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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