i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
