She is in my trunk
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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