naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
