You just made me feel so damn special
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
