Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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