I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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