you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
