I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
