i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
this just has baby written all over it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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