I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
