Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
