what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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