i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
