this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
