Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
