omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
