It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
