Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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