yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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