Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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