she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
