We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
