if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
