I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
